Cutting Ties, Genesis 31:19-55

 

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At times, cutting ties may be necessary, to move forward, into God’s Promise Land for your life, His Divine Eternal Purpose.

It might get messy; but it needs to include tying up loose ends, to make a clean break, with no regrets.

So, your last goodbye is a good, goodbye.

¹⁹ Now Laban had gone to shear his sheep, and Rachel had stolen the household idols that were her father’s. 

Laban’s sheep weren’t the only ones getting fleeced.

²⁰ And Jacob stole away, unknown to Laban the Syrian, in that he did not tell him that he intended to flee.

Laban’s daughter Rachel stole his idols.

Laban’s son-in-law, Jacob, stole away.

The timing of their departure was no coincidence.

Laban had spent the last 20 years, cheating, deceiving and taking advantage of Jacob.

God didn’t step in and stop it, but that doesn’t mean He didn’t notice it.

Galatians 6:7-9;
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap.

There is a Divine Reckoning

Galatians 6:8; For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.

So, don’t worry about the score, God’s keeps track of that. Just keep planting Good Seed.

And Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

If you don’t quit you win.

 ²¹ So he fled with all that he had. He arose and crossed the river, and headed toward the mountains of Gilead.

Crossed the, Euphrates River.

²² And Laban was told on the third day that Jacob had fled. 

So, Laban got home from sheep shearing and it sure was quiet around the place.

Where’d everybody go?

Oh, they left.

When?

About 3 days ago…

He goes to inquire of his little idols… and they’re gone too!

Mount your camels boys, we’ve gotta ride!

²³ Then he took his brethren with him and pursued him for seven days’ journey, and he overtook him in the mountains of Gilead. 

He was serious about catching them and rode for a week, in hot pursuit.

²⁴ But God had come to Laban the Syrian in a dream by night, and said to him, “Be careful that you speak to Jacob neither good nor bad.”

Jacob was heading toward the Promise Land, following God’s directive.

However, he stole away without telling Laban, his father-in-law/uncle, Rachel and Leah’s dad; his kids’ grandpa.

Nevertheless, God protected Jacob, by warning Laban not to mess with Jacob.

Some claim Jacob dropped the ball in how he left, they think he should’ve let Laban know. 

Maybe so, I’m not convinced.

Either way, Jacob was moving in the right direction, according to God’s directive.

Cutting ties, may not be pretty, it might get messy.

If you ask a child to help clear the table, and they try but they’re nervous and they drop and break a plate—you don’t condemn them you comfort them.

God doesn’t demand perfection before providing, provision, protection and direction.

Peter sank, sure, BUT he got out of the boat, headed toward Jesus, walked on water, and Jesus didn't reject him, He protected him, pulled him up.

²⁵ So Laban overtook Jacob. Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the mountains, and Laban with his brethren pitched in the mountains of Gilead.

They are 250-300 miles from Haran.

²⁶ And Laban said to Jacob: “What have you done, that you have stolen away unknown to me, and carried away my daughters like captives taken with the sword? 

Deceivers are master wordsmiths. What a picture he paints.

Stolen away without telling him; yes, that’s true.

But carried away daughters like captives taken with the sword? No! Not at all.

²⁷ Why did you flee away secretly, and steal away from me, and not tell me; for I might have sent you away with joy and songs, with timbrel and harp? 

Notice the theme of Laban’s words, “stolen away”, “carried away”, “captives taken” and again, “steal away.”

Laban’s been ripping Jacob off for 20 years, now he’s complaining; you stole from me, I’ve been robbed.

He paints Jacob as a thief and kidnapper, and himself as the victim who would’ve gladly given him everything and sent him off with kisses and hugs and joy and songs and timbrel and harp...

And it’s all a bunch of hogwash.

Jacob and the girls are probably rolling their eyes, thinking, yeah right, sure you would.

²⁸ And you did not allow me to kiss my sons and my daughters. Now you have done foolishly in so doing. 

Ever met someone who can say just the right words, nice words, eloquent words, smooth words, yet they are hollow words, their meaning is manipulative, deceptive, cruel?

That’s Laban.

²⁹ It is in my power to do you harm, but the God of your father spoke to me last night, saying, ‘Be careful that you speak to Jacob neither good nor bad.’ 

Now his true colors shine through.

Now, Laban says, I have the right and the might to hurt you for stealing from me.

He would not have thrown a farewell party, with joy, songs, timbrel and harp.

No, he would’ve done something, even by force, to make them stay, or at least not allow Jacob to leave with his family and possessions. 

But God, stepped up, stepped in, and protected Jacob and put the fear of God in Laban.

³⁰ And now you have surely gone because you greatly long for your father’s house, but why did you steal my gods?”

Now he slathers an accusation in buttery words.

I understand son, you greatly miss your daddy, you’re homesick.

Then, it comes; what’s really on his heart. But why’d you stole my gods!

Jacob’s God protected him.

Laban’s gods need protecting

If your god can be stolen… you’re in trouble.

You might say, I’d never have a god like that.

Some do.

Money. Reputation. Job. Possessions. Family. Spouse. Kids. Friends. Appearance. Health. Addiction. Politics. Electronics. Social Media. Food. Sports.   

Would you be okay, if one or all of those were taken away? Or, would you freak out? Loose your mind, your peace, your sanity, your life?

Your Life.

Would you reject God, if you lost your god?

³¹ Then Jacob answered and said to Laban, “Because I was afraid, for I said, ‘Perhaps you would take your daughters from me by force.’ 

Why’d you steal away?

Laban’s reputation caused Jacob and family to fear his reaction to their leaving.

So, even though, maybe it wasn’t the ideal way to leave, perhaps it was the only way to escape safely.

Perhaps the environment was too volatile, so they felt they had to flee while Laban was away for a few days.

There are times we must get out of the volatile, toxic, hostile, situation; so then, we can face it and address it, safely with a clear head, and make a clean break.

Remember, Jacob isn’t running away from Laban; he’s running toward God.

Big difference.

Cutting ties, includes tying up loose ends.

So, he faced Laban, from a safe place

³² With whomever you find your gods, do not let him live. In the presence of our brethren, identify what I have of yours and take it with you.” For Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen them.

Jacob immediately moves into addressing Laban’s accusation about stealing his idols.

Without praying or consulting his family, Jacob assumes he knows, and makes a rash statement that could’ve cost Rachel’s life.

James 1:19: be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.

Pray. Communicate. Gather all the details. Don’t jump the gun. 

Speaking of guns… Rachel must’ve been sweating bullets.

³³ And Laban went into Jacob’s tent, into Leah’s tent, and into the two maids’ tents, but he did not find them. Then he went out of Leah’s tent and entered Rachel’s tent.

Laban and crew rode hard for seven days, to catch Jacob.

Notice his main activity is finding and rescuing his “gods”. That should’ve been a clue. If your god needs finding or rescuing, it’s worthless.

But like an addict in need of a fix, he searches every tent.

How desperate is the person whose god, is not the LORD

How satisfied is the person whose God is the LORD

 ³⁴ Now Rachel had taken the household idols, put them in the camel’s saddle, and sat on them. And Laban searched all about the tent but did not find them. 

The idols had to be small.

Why’d she take them?

We’re not told, but there are various schools of thought:

Out of spite.

Because she too was superstitious and worshipped them.

To secure an inheritance. The holder of the idols was entitled to the inheritance.

She didn’t want dad to use divination to locate them.

She didn’t want dad to worship idols anymore. 

(My guess is one of the first two options).

³⁵ And she said to her father, “Let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise before you, for the manner of women is with me.” And he searched but did not find the household idols.

Rachel stole idols and deceived her father.

She might be pretty on the outside… on the inside—not so much.

³⁶ Then Jacob was angry and rebuked Laban, and Jacob answered and said to Laban: “What is my trespass? What is my sin, that you have so hotly pursued me? ³⁷ Although you have searched all my things, what part of your household things have you found? Set it here before my brethren and your brethren, that they may judge between us both! ³⁸ These twenty years I have been with you; your ewes and your female goats have not miscarried their young, and I have not eaten the rams of your flock. ³⁹ That which was torn by beasts I did not bring to you; I bore the loss of it. You required it from my hand, whether stolen by day or stolen by night. ⁴⁰ There I was! In the day the drought consumed me, and the frost by night, and my sleep departed from my eyes. ⁴¹ Thus I have been in your house twenty years; I served you fourteen years for your two daughters, and six years for your flock, and you have changed my wages ten times. 

⁴² Unless the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had been with me, surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed. God has seen my affliction and the labor of my hands, and rebuked you last night.”

Jacob’s honesty and integrity serving Laban, but mostly knowing that God was with him, gave him the courage to release two decades of pent-up frustration on Laban.

⁴³ And Laban answered and said to Jacob, “These daughters are my daughters, and these children are my children, and this flock is my flock; all that you see is mine. But what can I do this day to these my daughters or to their children whom they have borne?

Laban was busted in more ways than one.

Exposed by Jacob

Rebuked by God.

Yet, rather than humble himself, repent and apologize, he regains his composure, puffs out his chest and pretends to be in charge.

 ⁴⁴ Now therefore, come, let us make a covenant, you and I, and let it be a witness between you and me.”

Let’s make a deal.

⁴⁵ So Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. ⁴⁶ Then Jacob said to his brethren, “Gather stones.” And they took stones and made a heap, and they ate there on the heap. ⁴⁷ Laban called it Jegar Sahadutha, but Jacob called it Galeed. 

Jacob used Hebrew. Laban, Aramaic, or Chaldean. Both words mean, Heap of witness or, witness pile.

⁴⁸ And Laban said, “This heap is a witness between you and me this day.” Therefore its name was called Galeed, 

The New Living Translation, translates this verse well:

 “This pile of stones will stand as a witness to remind us of the covenant we have made today.” This explains why it was called Galeed—“Witness Pile.” 

⁴⁹ also Mizpah, because he said, “May the Lord watch between you and me when we are absent one from another.

It was also called, Mizpah, means watchtower, or watch.

Laban used the correct word for, LORD; Yhvh: the proper name of the God of Israel.

Today, “Mizpah” is used symbolically on two pendants, between friends. One has half the word, “Miz” the other has the other half of the word, “pah” indicating, until we meet again my friend may the Lord give you His protection and peace.

However, the original intent wasn’t so warm and fuzzy. No, it was, may the LORD watch over you as judge and punish you if you mistreat my family or if you cross this line with ill intent.

As explained in next verse…

 ⁵⁰ If you afflict my daughters, or if you take other wives besides my daughters, although no man is with us—see, God is witness between you and me!”

God is watching you, Jake!

⁵¹ Then Laban said to Jacob, “Here is this heap and here is this pillar, which I have placed between you and me. 

Laban, what do you mean, “which I have placed?

Verse 45-46, Jacob set up the pillar, Jacob told the family to gather the stones into a heap.

It doesn’t matter.

Choose your battles.

Laban is losing everything, all he has left is words, and pride, this is his swan song.

So, the best thing Jacob can do is take the high road, let Laban talk, pity him, pray for him, make this a good, goodbye.

When cutting ties, we want to make a clean break, with no regrets; not a messy break-up filled with angry haunting words of hurt and hate.  

It’s the best thing for all involved.

You want your last goodbye to be a good goodbye.

⁵² This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not pass beyond this heap to you, and you will not pass beyond this heap and this pillar to me, for harm. 

Laban knows everything Jacob said about him is true; that he would’ve sent Jacob away empty handed if he could.

Laban sees Jacob’s ever growing, prospering, strengthening crew, and wisely sticks out his hand and says, let’s bury the hatchet. I won’t hurt you, if you don’t hurt me. 

⁵³ The God of Abraham, the God of Nahor, and the God of their father judge between us.” And Jacob swore by the Fear of his father Isaac. 

Abraham: Jacob’s grandpa

Nahor: Laban’s grandpa

Abe & Nahor were brothers.

And the God of their father (Terah, an idolater; Joshua 24:2).

Same God?

No.

Laban was throwing in all the gods, including God, well, except he didn’t include, his little gods, who were lost or stolen at the moment.

The Amplified Bible interprets this verse well:

The God of Abraham [your father] and the God of Nahor [my father], and the god [the image of worship] of their father [Terah, an idolater], judge between us.” But Jacob swore [only] by [the one true God] the Fear of his father Isaac.

⁵⁴ Then Jacob offered a sacrifice on the mountain, and called his brethren to eat bread. And they ate bread and stayed all night on the mountain. 

Laban stuck out his hand.

Jacob shook it.

They had a good meal and said goodnight

⁵⁵ And early in the morning Laban arose, and kissed his sons and daughters and blessed them. Then Laban departed and returned to his place.

They had a good, goodbye.

That is a sure sign of cutting ties well.

At times, to move forward, into God’s Promise Land for your life, His Divine Eternal Purpose, cutting ties may be necessary.

It might get messy; but it needs to include tying up loose ends, to make a clean break, with no regrets.

So, your last goodbye is a good, goodbye.

Let’s pray.

Lord Jesus, thank You for revealing to us the bold and bright future You have planned for us, even if darkness surrounds us. Thank You for discernment to know when cutting ties is necessary, and the wisdom to do it well, with honor and love.

Help us remember Your Word, and may it bear fruit to the saving of souls.

We love You, forever.

Amen.

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