Thursday, January 21, 2010

God's silence

“Papa I can’t do it.” I wait, watching, silent. I know she can, if she’ll try.

She thinks herself too small, she’s only three. I know she can, she thinks she can’t. And so I wait silently. She stares at the bucket. She wants to help me wash the camper. But until she extends her hand into the soapy water and plunges it into the deep; she won’t be equipped with the provision I’ve provided for her to aid in her quest for cleaning.

She inches closer. She says it a bit quieter this time. “I can’t do it Papa, help.” I continue to clean from atop the ladder; she stares into bucket; reaches out little hand; touches water and pulls back. “I can’t do it.” She looks toward me. I continue to work as if I hadn’t noticed.

Fingers then hand, wrist then arm disappear into soapy mix. Whispering words, “I-can’t-do-did-it. I did it!” Holding wash rag like a trophy above her head, she doesn’t notice soapy water running down her arm, dripping on pony tailed hair and splashing across her smiling face.


My silence wasn’t to ignore but prompt her to explore, to venture into her adventure. I was watching, waiting and had prepared the way; she just had to dive in. If it were dangerous, if I didn’t want her to proceed – I would intercede.

I applauded her success – and almost fell off the ladder laughing.

At that moment I felt a warm familiarity. Like a loving unseen hug...Was it God keeping me on the ladder; or something more?

I realized… that’s the way of My Papa. Our Papa. God.

At times it seems; He’s drawn back. I can’t hear Him, see Him or feel Him. I wonder if He’s there; if He’s even listening.

I move away when teaching a child to walk. And I let go when teaching one to ride bike. To harm? No. To watch them fall? Of course not.

Balance is gotten by standing on your own.

From “can’t to can” requires untying the “not.”

To help me grow; balance; pedal forward, He steps away.

All the while He’s watching as I move forward, toward what I think I can’t do; cheering as I overcome fear; smiling as I plunge deep and applauding when I succeed.

And whether I find the trophy or just get wet, the success is in the trying. He provides all I need.

Sometimes hearing God is in not hearing Him.

All I need to do is set my heart to want to. My job is to delight myself in Him.

I move forward calling out, “Papa help, I can’t do it on my own. I’m planning to plunge in, because I want to help.” If He allows me to continue and I don’t hear His voice – that is His voice.

That desire planted inside me is His voice leading me.

PHOTOS: Granddaughter Nevaeh - (the handmaiden of the Lord:-), SUPER NEVAEH - I CAN DO IT !


HisFireFly said...

I hear your Father now, and He's saying "Well done. Well done, My beloved son."

katdish said...

That was amazing, Doug. Thank you. I need this today.

Glynn said...

Outstanding post, Doug.

Graceful said...

I love this. And I love that Proverbs verse.

Anonymous said...

hi doug,
i like the story, the thinking and the verses. really good post.

S. Etole said...

I really like this ... thank you

Denise said...

I really enjoyed this, needed it today. Big blessings to you.

Anonymous said...

Wow, this is amazing. Thank you for these words. I've been plagued with some "where is He" thoughts lately.

Bonnie Gray said...

"If He allows me to continue and I don’t hear His voice – that is His voice.

That desire planted inside me is His voice leading me."

What confidence you have in God our Father! How did you get this way? :)

My heart really smiled reading this. I think it's Papa speaking. Thank you.

Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

I've been pondering this a lot lately: How we hear God. And why is He sometimes so silent?

This offers an answer for me. I'm grateful for your words.