“I really blew it last night” She said. Closing the lid I looked into eyes as red as the burgers I had just placed on the grill. “How do you want your burger?” I asked and made a chair out of the deck steps. She joined me.
I didn’t really want to know how she wanted her burger, I already knew. I just didn’t know what else to say… I was listening.
“I screwed up so bad last night. I’m so stupid.” This time she was close enough for stale beer breath to tell the rest of the story.
The only voice I heard was hers. It was too soon for the burgers to be hot enough to sizzle. But suddenly something sizzled. And I heard myself laugh right out loud.
I listened… to myself laugh, and wondered what I was doing.
Swimming red eyes questioned. “I said I totally blew it!”
“This is great” I listened to myself say. And wondered what I was saying.
“You don’t seem to understand Doug, I got drunk last night. I went to a party and got wasted. I messed up.”
“Hallelujah!” I proclaimed.
I listened and heard, not my voice, but, The Voice leading. I followed.
She stared in disbelief. “What in the world are you saying? Didn’t you hear me? I GOT DRUNK LAST NIGHT.”
The burgers were now sizzling and so was I. The aroma from meat on the grill or manna from heaven overpowered the odor of last nights’ debauchery.
I listened as words of wisdom flowed from my lips – not my words. I wouldn’t have thought of it. His words of comfort; of love; of victory poured.
“This is wonderful. You sit here today hurting in your heart, grieved by what you’ve done. Last week you did the same thing. But, you sought relief for pain in your head, not your heart. You wanted a pain pill, but not the Gos-pill (Gospel). This is proof that the prayer you prayed a few days ago; took. This shows that you really are a new person. You really are changed. You really meant it in your heart when you asked God to forgive you and He honored your request and gave you a new heart, now you feel bad about what you’ve done because you-are-new. The old-you is dead. God has changed you. You are a Christian. So of course you’re going to feel bad when you do something against who you are.”
Wiping tears from her smiling face she giggled, “Wow, I never knew feeling bad could feel so good.”
I listened… “Well done.”
I whispered, “Thank-you” to my Lord.
She said, “Huh? Well done. I want my burger well-done.”