Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Grief killer

Today's post is part of the Blog Carnival hosted by Peter Pollock on "Grief." A subject I’ve known at times as my only companion. Close enough to smell its’ breath through putrid fangs and feel it poisonous tentacles. And I've discovered it's killer.
Grief: great sadness, intense, deep and profound sorrow, especially as a result of a death, a specific event or situation.

Been there.

I just don’t love you anymore. I want a divorce.
Twelve years of marriage, four children and a happy home traded for lonely nights, child support and every other weekend.

Breath in, breath out… the pain of living makes death appealing.

Intoxicating grief numbs the senses. It’s lair a black tunnel with no end in sight. No light. No hope. Just pain...

I’ll pick us up supper on my way home. He blows her a kiss and he’s out the door.

The phone rings, her life changes. Thirty-two years of marriage interrupted by death.
Unwanted, uninvited, grief moves in.

She asks if an insert can be placed in his ring. She’d like to wear it. “This may take a little while if there’s something you’d rather do while you wait.” Her lip quivers… “If there’s something I’d rather do?” Tears fall, “I’d rather be holding my husbands’ hand in that ring.” Grief drags her to the floor.

Wave after wave grief washes peace, joy and hope out to sea... to drown.

God help.

Why am I surrounded by people, I just want to be left alone.

They complain about the stupidest things. They can’t see what really matters. Can’t they see I’m the one hurting? Why do I have to show them everything’s going to be alright in their world? I’m the one who needs help. I’m the one with the big problem. But no. Over and over I have to show them their problems aren’t so bad.

Once I explain what I’ve been through they seem to cheer up… Wait. Hold on a second. Did I just say, “what I’ve been through? Wow, I’m looking back at what I went through not what I’m going through, how did that happen? Somewhere along the way I walked out of the tunnel. I can look back at it but I’m not in it. Hallelujah.

Sowing and reaping. Joy kills grief. The only way to get joy when grieving is to give it away.
The best thing about grief is that Jesus defeated it, carried it away so it wouldn’t swallow us up.

Jesus did more than make a way for us to get to heaven. He made a way to get heaven to us. "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." And His cross carried more than our sins.

"Surely He has borne our griefs. And carried our sorrows; " Isaiah 53:4


Glynn said...

"Joy kills grief; we just have to give it away." The gosepl in 10 words. Beautiful.

Doug Spurling said...

Glynn, I like the way you said it better. Thanks.

Peter P said...

Wow, that took us on a really great journey.

Not great as in the hurt and pain were good but great as in it showed that there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Thank you for writing such an excellent post for the carnival!

Bridget Chumbley said...

This is a great post. I am so grateful for this:

"The best thing about grief is that Jesus defeated it, carried it away so it wouldn’t swallow us up."

Thanks for joining the carnival!

FaithBarista Bonnie said...

"It's lair is a dark tunnel... "

That can only bee written by someone who has been in it. Very priceless. You are a jewel for shedding the truth about grief -- and yet, are able to point to the promise of Hallelujah after coming through it.

Behind every true testimony is a man who has suffered. Thank you for sharing yours.

I'm glad you're back .. and trust you are in His care. You have been missed.. but, it's wonderful you took care of yourself and your family during this time.

Anne Lang Bundy said...

Jesus made a way to get heaven to us.

With His Spirit's light inside of us, we do not walk through the dark tunnel alone, or without hope.

I think the Lord allows grief because after we've experienced it, light and hope shine more brightly—with greater beauty.

Denise said...

Such a precious post, bless you.