Praying For Paper Cuts

“How come that lady’s not listening, Papa?”

“What lady?”

“Her—” she pointed at the TV. “The lady behind the President. What’s she looking at?”

“Oh. Well, the President gave her a copy of his speech. That’s what she’s looking at.”

“I see.” She smiled and nodded. “She’s his helper.” She giggled. “In case he goofs up or forgets his lines.”

“Well not exactly—well yeah, maybe, sorta, kinda, like that.”

“She sure don’t look very happy.”

“No, she sure don’t”

“I think she lost her place ‘cuz she keeps shuffling the papers back and forth.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right—she’s lost”

“She oughta ask the President to slow down, so she can keep up. But, she won’t.”

“Why not?”

“She’s scared the people might laugh.”

“Oh, that’s why.”

“She sure looks silly. Back and forth, back and forth, like shuffling cards to play crazy eight.”

“Yeah.”

“Papa, how come everybody keeps interrupting his speech by standing up and clapping?”

“Well, they’re happy to hear about lots and lots of people finding jobs and bad guys getting caught. They’re honoring soldiers, their families and some very special people who’ve been through a lot.”

She sat silent for a few moments, then whispered, “Poor lady.”

“Huh?”

“That poor lady, she don’t get to have no fun. When everybody smiles, and claps, she just stares at those papers. Must be a hard job. Or, maybe she don’t know how to read too good.”

“Um…well, maybe, but, I think, actually, it might be because she doesn’t like the President very much.”

“What? No. Really? Why not?”

“Well, it’s like, she’s on one team, and he’s on the other.”

“Oh, I get it. Where’s she from?”

“What?”

“Where’s she from? The President’s on Team America; so, he wants good stuff for America. She’s obviously not happy about the good stuff, so she can’t be from America…where’s she from?”

  “Good question.”

“But, Papa…If she’s not on Team America, how come she’s sitting up there?”

“Great question.”

“What! How come she just tore up them papers she was studying so hard?”

“She really doesn’t like the President.”

Under her breath, “I know it ain’t nice, but I hope she got paper cuts.”